A Fistful of Guns! (Matt's Picks)

Guns have a long history in film, and it turned out to be really, really hard to pick just five awesome shooters.  But here's the list I came up with.  Five of my favorites.

5.  Coffy’s Shotgun (Coffy):  She will end your rotten, dope pushing life with this portable cannon.  Do not mess with her.  Just don’t do it.

4.  The ZF-1 (The Fifth Element):  It slices.  It dices.  And it does a whole bunch of other completely ridiculous stuff.

3.  Sandman Pistol (Logan's Run):  Run, Runner!

2.  Quigley’s Sharps Buffalo Rifle (Quigley Down Under):  He might just be a speck on the horizon, but he’s still in a lot of trouble if you’ve got this beast at your shoulder.

1.  The Samaritan (Hellboy):  He may not be a very good shot, but it’s OK.  The Samaritan shoots really big bullets.

-Matt

Crime Week (Fortnight): Humphrey Bogart Night

Friday night, I gathered a few friends together to watch some of Humphrey Bogart's crime films.  It really wasn't until that day that I came up with my final line up of Petrified Forest, In a Lonely Place, and Dark Passage.  We got things started with rum and Coke, and sat down to the first film.

Petrified Forest:  At a lonely gas station in the middle of nowhere, a young girl dreams of a life anywhere else; away from her father and grandfather, away from the awkward pawing of a former football player who pumps gas.  In walks a depressed, burnt out writer who fuels her hunger for knowledge and experience.  But how will this awakening love survive the arrival of a brutish criminal and his gang?  Funny and twisted, the movie is cracking with a dark sense of humor and a bitter nostalgia for more savage times.

In a Lonely Place:  One of Bogart’s most personal roles, I also think it’s probably his best performance.  Cutting painfully close to home, it paints the picture of a troubled man, driven by passions both violent and tender.  It’s an ugly movie, filled with grim visions of a man’s darker side.  Bogart is fantastic, and Gloria Grahame is fascinating.  Typical of the era, there’s a good deal of clever dialog, and some fun innuendo.  A must for Bogart fans.

Dark Passage:  From the first person opening, through the brutal, twisting finale, this may not be the best Bogart & Bacall film, but it’s sure a lot of fun.  Bogie is kind of awesome all bandaged up.  I would have loved to see him play DC Comic’s Unknown Soldier.  And Bacall oozes danger and mystery, as you try to figure out what her game is.  Good stuff.

Overall, the night went well, though by the time Dark Passage came along, several of us were less than fully conscious (getting up at 5AM doesn't help when staying up watching movies).  It was nice seeing Bogart in three very different roles, each dealing with crime in very different ways. 

-Matt

Crime Fortnight?

So, this week kind of got away from Brad and myself.  Due to a whole bunch of crazy (much of it good), we were both a bit too busy to do everything we'd planned (or even sizable percentage of it).  And, since this is our blog, and we make the rules, we're extending Crime Week by another week.  Oh, yeah!  Hopefully, this will also give Dan some time to give us something, as it sounds like his week went a little nuts, too.  Thus is life. 

By the way, Bogart night went well (if a bit sleepy at the end).  I'll be doing a recap...hopefully tomorrow.  

Keep reading, and enjoy an extended walk in the shadows. 

-Matt

A Fistful of Crimes! (Matt's Picks)

 As Crime Week looks to be expanding into Crime Fortnight, my list of a few of my favorite crimes. 

5.   The Killing of Jenny Wilson (The Limey):  “You tell him I’m coming.  Tell him I’m f*%#ing coming!”  Old Man Wilson may not know much about life in the States.  But he knows a lot about ending it.  And his daughter’s murder is just what he needs to find a little focus now that he’s out of the clink.

4.  The Disappearance of Johnny Favourite (Angel Heart):  For Harry Angel, the search for a missing singer will bring him face to face with some nasty characters (the nastiest, really), a lot of chickens, and a part of himself he’d rather not know.  “Who is the boooooy?!”

3.  The Cover-up (Fatherland):  Evil has triumphed, because good men did nothing.  In an alternate 1960s, Germany rules Europe and is about to make peace with America.  But one SS officer along with a visiting American reporter, won’t let a murder go unsolved, and begin to unravel a terrible secret.  One of the greatest crimes in human history has been swept under the rug.  The murder of millions of Germans has been lost to rumor and vague memory.  And people who knew, but didn’t know want nothing more than to forget.  And those who were behind it, and involved in it, will stop at nothing to keep the secret.

2.  Stealing Chev’s Heart (Crank 2):  Sure, he fell out of a helicopter.  Sure, he seemed pretty dead.  But he wasn’t done with that heart, and those organleggers should have kept their mitts off.  When Chev Chelios wakes up wired to a nearly spent battery keeping a fake pumper pumping, you can bet he’s gonna rip the city up until he gets his own back (his doctor is reasonably sure he can put it back in).

1.  Thomas Crown Returns the Painting (TheThomas Crown Affair):  The climax of this fun caper film features one of my favorite Nina Simone songs, and inspiration from Rene Magritte, my favorite surrealist painter.

-Matt

A Fistful of Crimes! (Brad's Picks)

To celebrate Crime Week (although, I'm starting to think Crime Week might be Crime Month????  We'll see, we'll see), Matt & I are dishing out our favorite criminal acts with this Fistful of Crimes!

5.  The Kidnapping of Jean Lundegaard (Fargo):  Unable to pay some serious debt, Carsalesman Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy at his most pathetic) hires two lowrent scumbags (career highlights from both Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare) to kidnap his wife so he can skim the top off his father-in-law's ransom.  Could this possibly go well?  A Comedy of Horrors.

4.  The Murder of Marion Crane (Psycho):  "We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes."  There is no other murder in cinema as historic as the stabbing of Marion Crane, and even though the shower scene is pretty much burned into the brain at geek birth, every time that granny silhouette creeps in and the Bernard Herrmann score screeches I get chills.  It's obviously, beautifully shot but what I really love is the madness Crane's death ignites for the rest of the cast.  Fantastically demented.

3.  The Robbing of New York Finest's Taxi Service (The Usual Suspects):  Yeah, it's possible that the inciting crime that brings the boys together doesn't even occur but that's also what kicks ass about it.  Who is Keyser Soze?  And what diabolical plans does he have for The Usual Suspects?  It's crime as Epic Mythology.

2.  The Picking of Candy's Pocket (Pickup on South Street):  Richard Widmark's Skip is a simple working criminal.  He makes a few bucks here and there lifting wallets from Subway passengers.  But when he lifts Candy's wallet he also comes into possession of some serious Cold War paraphernalia.  Soon, he's being hunted by Reds and G-Men, but you better not wave the flag at him cuz he's just lookin' out for A # 1.  There's gotta be a buck to be had.  Skip McCoy is my favorite cinematic Hero of Self; seriously, nothing beats his cynicism.

1.  The Assault on Precinct 13 (Assault on Precinct 13):  Inspired by Rio Bravo, John Carpenter traps a few cops and a few criminals in a tiny soon-to-be-condemned police station and sets loose a marauding Warriors-esque multi-ethnic gang of savages.  Pounding to the greatest synth score ever composed, good guys and bad guys have to band together if they're going to survive the bullet barraged night.  It's the ultimate siege picture.   No rules (did you see what happened to the girl with the ice cream???), constant threat, and it's totally terrifying if you're in the right mood.  Must-See.

Three From Bogart

On Friday, I'll be watching some Humphrey Bogart crime films with friends.  So, in anticipation, I thought I'd show the trailers for what I have tentatively scheduled (may change my mind on the final lineup...I'm just that sort).

-Matt

Crime Week!

    This week, in addition to our regular postings, we here at In the Mouth of Dorkness will be shining our spotlights on crime.  From novels to films to comic books and beyond, crime fascinates us.  Is it the allure of forbidden fruit or conscience free living?  The thrill of solving a riddle or of creating one?  I’m sure scholars far more versed in psychology and pop culture could debate it endlessly.  So I won’t. 

    Instead Brad and myself, along with guest columnist Dan from My Year in Crime, will be discussing a few things we like or that interest us, in relation to crime.  I’ll be discussing classic crime film, as well as some of its more modern descendants.  While Brad will enlighten us about a character he’s especially fond of.  And what Dan will write about still remains a mystery to me. 

    So, enjoy our little walk on the darker side of the street. 

-Matt