A Fistful of Bacon! (Matt's Picks)

    Kevin Bacon’s birthday was yesterday, and we didn’t think it should go unnoticed by the world of Dorks.  He was the definition of cool when I was a little one, and while his career has been all over the place, perhaps down more often than up, he’s hung in there and managed to earn some real respect. 

5.  The Charming Villainy of Sebastian Shaw (X-Men: First Class):  I was hardly the biggest fan of the latest mutant overload, but Kevin Bacon was like a bolt of lightning, giving the movie a great deal of its energy.  Like a mutant Bond villain, he was a worthy adversary for Magneto and  Prof. X.

4.  The Everyman Morality of Tom Witzky (Stir of Echoes):  Yeah, it’s not a very good movie, but Bacon sells the heck out of his Joe Schmo character’s dilemmas.   He’s gonna find out who done that young girl wrong, and he doesn’t care what rocks he has to upturn.

3.  He Wants That Cab (Planes, Trains, and Automobiles):  If it weren’t for Kevin Bacon, none of Steve Martin’s mad adventure would have ever happened.  Don’t mess with Bacon.

2.  The “Oh, Crap!” Moments of Jack Swigert (Apollo 13):  Sometimes you just have a bad day.  From forgetting to file his taxes, to getting stuck in a deathtrap far out in space, things could have gone better.

1.  The Movie Poster for Qucksilver (Quicksilver):  When I was a kid, this poster hung in every video shop, from the mom & pop convenience store down the street to the two story job in the center of town.  As I grew up, this VHS was at every video shop.  Yet, like Lyle Alzado’s Destroyer (another ubiquitous poster), I never got around to seeing it.  But you rocked the 80s, street biking Bacon!

-Matt

A Fistful of Bacon! (Brad's Picks)

Happy Belated Birthday, Kevin Bacon.  You have entertained us for years with your rebel-rousing dance moves, Bacon Brothers rock tunes, and your endless Six Degrees of Separation.  As a thank you for both your big and small roles, ITMOD devotes this Fistful Friday (uh Saturday) to your greatest roles.

5.  The Perversion of Sean Nokes (Sleepers):  Not necessarily a great movie, I find the child actors kinda annoying.  But Kevin Bacon's villainous pedophile juvie prison guard is perfectly terrifying.  And I love how sad and pathetic he is when you meet him years later scarfing down Italian at the back of that crappy NYC restraunt.  The monster deserves that bullet, but that old ragamuffin sure is small.

4.  The Tragedy of Henri Young (Murder in the First):  Another movie that manipulates and tears at your heartstrings, but damn, Bacon's mentally stalled convict is soul crushingly sad.  Things are not going to go well for him, but it's his aching performance that gets ya rooting for Christian Slater's crusade against Alcatraz.

3.  The Sexual Ambiguity of Lanny Morris (Where The Truth Lies):  Another sad character in another sad movie.  This one steeped in sex and unsolvable murder.  Bacon's Lanny is a veiled disguise for Jerry Lewis, a man who may love his straight-man partner as much as his countless female conquests.  Where The Truth Lies is a wonderfully icky film that we have come to expect from director Atom Egoyan, and Bacon (& Firth) deliver deliciously slimy performances.

2.  The Financial Dreams of Valentine McKee (Tremors):  Is there a film more fun than Tremors?  The answer if you don't already know is...NO.  Like the previous film on the list, Tremors has an unbeatable pairing in Bacon and Fred Ward.  They discover prehistoric underground Graboids in their backyard, and with a little help from Egg Shen, their eyes light with $$$ at the potential monster tourist trade.  Good luck guys, I hope you have a next door neighbor with plenty of firearms.

1.  The Rage of Nick Hume (Death Sentence):  From the director of SAW and based on the novel by the same demented mind that brought us Death Wish, Death Sentence is an equally brutal revenge thriller in which Bacon's Father/Husband goes on a kill-crazy-rampage against the hoods that cut down his family.  The film does not pull punches and neither does Bacon.  Bullets, machetes, and John Goodman's coke-bottle glasses will not block the terror of his double-barreled shotgun.  Kevin Bacon is a Monster and that's why Death Sentence gets the top spot.

Bacon Bonus:

--Brad