Matt's Week in Dork! (6/19-6/25)

    I begin this this Week in Dork in the usual fashion, with the movies I watched.  It’s been kind of a weird week for me, and I’m actually not really sure how I got this many movies in, as the week was kind of a blur.  Anyway, here it goes…

Green Lantern:  Sadly, this is pretty much the movie the trailer made it look like.  Ryan Reynolds is playing Ryan Reynolds again.  Far too much of the film takes place on Earth dealing with exceptionally uninteresting things.  The space stuff doesn’t really have enough time devoted to it to be as interesting as it should be.  And if Blake Lively never steps in front of a camera again, the world will be a better place.  It’s not awful.  But it could and should have been better.  It may seem obvious, but if they’d devoted less time to the crap, and more to the good stuff, the film would have been better.  And there is good stuff. 

Transcendent Man:  “Does God exist?  Well, I would say, ‘not yet.’”  Ray Kurzweil cuts an interesting figure.  At once sad and naively optimistic, he is clearly amazingly accomplished but somehow tinged with a sense of haunted failure (in the body of his late father whose untimely death seems to color much of Kruzweil’s life).  This documentary does try to play somewhat evenly with Kurzweil and his ideas.  It gives time to detractors, supporters, and those who fall in between.  There are some pretty interesting ideas put forth, though nothing is explored in any great depth.  What can not be denied is that Kurzweil has done amazing things and he forecasts even more.  We’ll see. 

Tangled:  Considerably better than the trailers made it look, Tangled is still weighed down by needless, low quality musical numbers.  The humor is a bit forced, but Disney has done worse in that respect (Hunchback for example).  The CG is much better than I expected, though the character design leaves something to be desired.  The story is good, but the movie could have been better.  I’m not against musicals at all, but it was so clearly shoehorned in because it’s expected in a Disney film.  Ugh.  Still, much better than originally expected. 

Doctor Who: Robot:  The first outing of Tom Baker as the Doctor has some cool stuff, and some good U.N.I.T. moments, but is kind of a silly story.  It’s basically King Kong mixed with Frankenstein, but with a robot in the place of the monster.  The mad scientist is delightfully strange and the cabal of scientific utopians bent on recreating the world in their Orwellian image are lots of fun.  This episode will always be special for me, though, because it was the first Doctor Who I ever saw.  I chanced upon it while flipping channels and was hooked from moment one.  

Kiss Me Deadly:  Ralph Meeker is all kinds of cold and nasty as Mike Hammer in this wild, atomic powered Noir classic.  He slaps, he punches, and I don’t even know what he did to Sugar Smallhouse, but poor Charlie Max didn’t like it too much.  He roughs up suspects, punks, thugs, and nice old men in the pursuit of justice.  And what justice.  One of the crazier endings I’ve seen.  Brutal.  Surreal.  And frankly, awesome.

Just how he says 'hello.'

Super 8:  (Upon my second viewing of this film, I found myself enjoying it even more.  This is probably in my top five films of the year, so far).  Like finding a forgotten gem in a video store, Super 8 harkens back to the kid adventure films of the 80s, like The Goonies, The Explorers, Space Camp, and so many others.  Filled with interesting characters and thrilling action, it’s got a lot of heart to back it all up.  And it sports a great cast of kid actors, each putting their stamp on various genre regulars (the Fat Kid, the Nerdy Kid, the Sensitive Kid, etc.).  Put aside your cynicism, and remember why we love movies. 

Doctor Who: Genesis of the Daleks:  A pretty epic story of the very beginning of one of the greatest menaces to face the universe, Genesis of the Daleks introduces us to the people of Skaro before the end of their cataclysmic conflict, and to Davros, the mad genius behind the Daleks.  It’s a really good story, and unlike some of the longer ones, well deserving of the six episodes.  It doesn’t become repetitive or dull in the middle, as some six episode arcs do, and in fact, some elements feel like maybe they could have used some more time devoted to them, like the underground resistance.  A classic story, and one of the better to focus on the Daleks.  And even though Davros is just as over the top and two dimensionally evil as The Master, I simply find him more fun. 

Deadlier Than the Male:  “I do all sorts of things when I’m tight.”  Classic British pulp hero, Hugh “Bulldog” Drummond gets a cheeky Bond style film adaptation.  Occasionally funny, often delightfully awkward, and constantly condescendingly chauvinistic, Deadlier Than the Male is a great deal of fun.  Chock full of ‘That Guy’ actors, beautiful women, and deadly assassins (who also happen to be among the beautiful women).  And the crazy final chess match almost feels like something out of The Avengers.  Great stuff.  Unfortunately, Johnson isn’t the most charming or dynamic of leads, but he’s passable. 

Cursed:  Post Scream idiocy.  Lots of untalented, moderately attractive people run through some of the most lifeless paces you can imagine, hitting nearly every note at exactly the expected time.  Characters seem to work very hard to find the absolutely dumbest things to do.  All the while, what could be fun is mostly just dull.  I love the concept of the werewolf.  I just wish there were more good films using it.  This is definitely not one.  This film is cursed; with dullness.  And the finale is just awful. 

From the film makers to you, the viewer.

Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman:  Pretty much like an extended episode of the Animated Series, this may not be amazing, but like the show, it’s darned good and what I’d love to see from DC’s animated features.  I don’t need them to reinvent the wheel with each movie.  Just tell a good story.  Find out who Gotham’s newest cracked defender is as she tires to do the Bat’s job, taking down a criminal syndicate.  Though it has strong similarities to Mask of the Phantasm, it manages to do its own thing and have a moderately clever twist.  For fans of the show, this is a welcome addition to the franchise.  

    I also got a chance to watch some of Warehouse 13, and was surprised how much I liked it.  It’s sort of a mix of the old Friday the 13th series and Special Unit 2.  Goofy, but a lot of fun.  And it may be the first time since Unforgiven that I’ve liked Saul Rubinek. 

    And I watched a handful of episodes of the completely cracked Batman: The Brave and the Bold.  Crazy Quilt.  Wow.  As one would expect from a character called Crazy Quilt, he loves to leave clues for Batman in the form of…that’s right, paintings.  What is up with DC?

    I finished another volume of Conan, Rogues in the House and Other Stories.  Probably the weakest volume to date, but it’s still better than a lot of Conan material I’ve read.  And due to circumstances totally within my control, I didn’t finish Reality is Broken.  I did get more of it read, but not nearly as much as I should have, and I have no excuse.  Should finish that in the next couple of days, unless I really choke. 

    On the video game front (which for some reason has been active for me recently), I was involved in a co-op game of I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MBIES 1N IT!!!1  in which we seem to have beat the game.  Total madness, and I’m not gonna lie, it left me feeling pretty friggin’ jazzed by the end.  Perhaps laughing a bit maniacally.  Perhaps.  And, had a chance to play some Halo deathmatch with a couple friends.  It was nice playing against people substantially better than me (who weren‘t jerks about it).  I got my butt handed to me, but reveled in every kill, because I knew I worked for ‘em. 

    On a final note, I got to thinking about how my life lacked something important.  I realized what I really need that I don’t have is a team of sexy henchwomen.  So, I want to try to remedy that.  Thus, I’m currently doing an open casting call for sexy henchwomen.  If you’re sexy, have a style all your own (or look really good in uniform), and maybe want to go to a comic convention to have my back, then I want to hear from you.  As with any good hench-job, it’s dangerous, thankless, and short.  But it’ll look good on a resume. 

-Matt

Brad's Week in Dork! (6/12-6/18)

Lots of DVDs were purchased and watched this week, but only got myself to the theater once for Woody Allen's new movie which definitely belongs at the top of the year's best list (and I'm as shocked as anybody that I'm babbling that way).  I've been trying to get myself over to see The Tree of Life but I just haven't had the real drive to make it happen.  Sigh.  It will be seen this week.  I need to join the Malick lovefest conversation (although I've had a few coworkers warn me away from the beast).  

The only new non-DVD acquisition this week was the It's Okay To Be Takei Coffee Mug and T Shirt.  Absolutely love it and it definitely makes the coffee all the more sweeter.  Oh, and I did score the standard print of the new Mondo Devil's Backbone.  One of the best films of the last ten years and my all time favorite ghost story, I still feel that the design could have a little more ooompf but I'm excited to get that tube in the mail.

MOVIES OF THE WEEK!

Broadcast News:  After listening to a few Criterion Cast episodes I had to run out for the Barnes and Noble Buy 2 Get 1 Free DVD sale for both Broadcast News and Charade (which I reviewed last week).  I absolutely loved Charade, and even though I really enjoyed Broadcast News I still find it a puzzling entry in the Criterion cannon.  Basically, four years after the success of Terms of Endearment, James L Brooks directs his "ultimate" film in Broadcast News. The Behind-The-News plot is often painful to watch (especially in our current Talking Head world), but it's the trilogy of Hurt, Brooks, and Hunter that sells this movie. William Hurt is horribly pathetic as the dim bulb but handsome anchor. Albert Brooks is horribly insecure as the lonely heart but credible anchor. And Holly Hunter is horribly back-and-forth as the uncontrollably teary producer. Watching them bounce off each other is humorous & awkward and its that combination that makes the film work.  It's not Simpsons, but definitely James Brooks' best film.

Midnight in Paris:  I've never been much of a Woody Allen fan, and if you count his output from the last decade or so I'm really, really not a fan. However, I was completely taken with this magical tale involving Owen Wilson's nostalgia hound and his Geek Love for 20s Paris is definitely infectious. True, Rachel McAdams is a little too simple as the shrewish fiance and her fawning after the intellectually skeevy Michael Sheen is properly frustrating. But the broad strokes of Corey Stoll's Hemingway and Adrian Brody's Dali are gutbustingly hilarious and had this Lit Dork in stitches.

Superman II:  The problems from the first film are still present in the sequel (a little too long, Lex is a little too goofy, the clumsy Clark Kent disguise is too too awkward) and the Lois Lane discovery/power-loss plot is ridiculous. However, I love love love Terrance Stamp's General Zod and his obsession with kneeling and the Metropolis Super Showdown is plenty fun. The Christopher Reeve years may not be my ideal Superman experience but it still manages to be quite entertaining.

Sherlock Holmes in Pursuit to Algiers:  The film has a great setting confined on the transatlantic ocean liner set sail for Algiers, but the proceedings are some of the dullest in the series. It is kinda cute to hear Nigel Bruce belt out a tune and his recietal of The Giant Rat of Sumatra is geeky cool even if we don't get all the details, but for the most part this one fails to entertain. Meh.

Grand Theft Auto:  Ron Howard's directorial debut is still my favorite flick from Mr. Ball Cap. Grand Theft Auto is a classic chase picture with plenty of gratuitous wrecks and explosions, a kinda straight-faced Cannonball Run Romeo & Juliet. Howard and Nancy Morgan race to a Las Vegas wedding as a mad collection of characters try to crash & burn their nuptials for jerkwad Daddy's $50,000 reward. The film definitely delivers on the genre's promises.

Sherlock Holmes in Terror By Night:  From the oceanliner confines of Pursuit to Algiers to the steam engine confines here, Terror By Night is thankfully less dull than the previous entry but nowhere near as exciting as some of the better Rathbone/Bruce episodes. Holmes is charged with guarding the Star of Rhodesia diamond, but as bodies start piling up he must put his wits toward discovering the murderer as well. Enjoyable speeding locomotive models, outdoor tumblings, and an excellent fish-lipped henchman in creepy Skelton Knaggs keep this penultimate Holmes outing from being a snooze, but again, it's no Scarlet Claw or even Hound of the Baskervilles.

The Man Who Would Be King:  Christopher Plummer's Rudyard Kipling takes audience with Michael Caine's mutilated Peachy Carnahan and sits in awe of his epic tale of friendship and madness. Two renegade soldiers walk into the mountains of Afghanistan and become gods among poor men. The Man Who Would Be King is a roaring morality adventure; two actors at the top of their game with sweeping vistas and John Huston's straining talent at their disposal. A gorgeous, sad saga and an absolutely beautiful blu ray release.

LA Confidential:  Curtis Hanson's epic adaptation of the third novel in James Ellroy's superb L.A. Quartet, L.A. Confidential is one of the great crime dramas of the modern era. Morally questionable detectives Kevin Spacey, Guy Pearce, and Russell Crowe navigate the seedy underbelly of 1950s Hollywood as they investigate the Nite Owl Massacre. The film never quite captures the harshness (or villainous basterdness) of James Ellroy's "good guys" and since several plot points from the other Quartet books get squished together the film sortta sputters at places, but the fantastic costumes, cinematography, and a general badass attitude will keep you glued to the screen.

The Silence of the Lambs:  G-Man in training, Jodi Foster develops a disturbing relationship with institutionalized serial killer Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter (played with enthusiastic gravitas by Sir Anthony Hopkins) in an attempt to understand and capture Ted Levine's disgusting, groaning murderer Buffalo Bill. There were serial killer pictures before this and there certainly were oodles of serial killer flicks after this, but The Silence of the Lambs is the ultimate statement in the genre. Director Jonathan Demme had made a couple of good flicks (Fighting Mad, Something Wild, Married To The Mob) before Lambs, but here he proves himself a master behind the camera with some of the creepiest, most haunting closeups in cinema. Lecter looking at me, Clarice looking at me, Jame Gum looking at me (HOLY CRAP Ted Levine is Terrifying!). Unflinching eyes. Shivers.

Superman III:  Fascinating. Not good. Terrible, actually. But fascinating. There are good elements to the film: I dig the Evil Superman stuff, especially the drunk bar fly Supes and the Kent/Supes smackdown. And the return to Smallville flirtation with Annette O'Toole is nice. But everything with plot plopped Richard Pryor is just atrocious and the Beware Computers villainy is just silly. How did this film happen? Just ridiculous.

Sherlock Holmes in Dressed to Kill:  The 14th and final installment in the Rathbone/Bruce era of the Sherlock Holmes saga is, sadly, a so-so outing involving the theft of three seemingly inexpensive music boxes. Holmes' procedural, especially when considering the mysterious pieces of music, is quite entertaining but the murderous antagonists are rather dull with a speedy conclusion that leaves you shrugging your shoulders. Dressed to Kill is missing the weird and the strange that make classic Rathobone/Bruce outings like The Hound of the Baskervilles and The Scarlet Claw work so well.

Passion Play:  Mickey Rourke. Bill Murray. Bud Cort. Rhys Ifans. Megan Fox. Could be good right? No. Passion Play is painfully boring. Rourke's washed-up trumpet player is terribly uninteresting and the magical fable aspect of Megan Fox's Birdwoman is totally ruined with groan inducing CG work and hair-pulling acting abilities. Just not good. Skip.

Superman IV The Quest for Peace:  Still not a good movie, but definitely better than the Richard Pryor outing, The Quest for Peace suffers under some seriously goofy Lex Luthor shenanigans involving golden space boy Nuclear Man and dweeb nephew Duckie--I mean, Lenny i.e. the horrendous Jon Cryer. The budget is obviously not there and Christopher Reeve's anti-nuke hokum is painfully broad; seriously, that last speech is gag inducing. I will say that it's nice to see Supes get a punch-out with an equal and editor-in-chief Jackie Cooper finally has something to do while battling those greedy tabloid owners.  Okay, but where's my Annette O'Toole?  Definitely missed her, the only really good bit from Part III.

VIDEO GAME OF THE WEEK!

As I've stated in previous posts, I'm not really much of a Video Game Dork these days.  I recently completed LA Noire, Mortal Kombat, Red Dead Redemption, and Arkham Asylum.  But you know what I've never played?  Halo.  I've touched an XBOX once or twice over the years but on brief flirtations.  Well, I finally let co-dork Matt drag me over to his place for a sit down with the Spartan.  We played through the first level and I had a good time.  I love the ringworld, of course--I am a dork afterall.  But the environments in general were a lot of fun.  Hopefully, we can get back together later in the week for another sitdown.  It definitely has potential to suck my life away like the blissful days of N64's Goldeneye.  I'm way late to the party, but I'm happy to be here now.

Still, I'm just biding time until Arkham City.

Matt’s Week in Dork (6/12-6/18)

As always, we begin with the movies I checked out this week. 

His Kind of Woman:  If for no other reason, this movie must be seen for the Vincent Price performance.  Mitchum is cool, sure.  And the twisting story of mob bosses, dames, plastic surgery, and drunken expatriates is fine.  But Price is far more then worth the price of admission.  His genius performance as a twisted version of himself is alternately sad, charming, and exceptionally funny.  A good deal of it actually feels adlib, and I gather this film was kind of slap-dash, with script pages being written on the day.  But it doesn’t stop it from being entertaining.  And, certainly Jane Russell is easy on the eyes, but she’s also charmingly tough.  The ending is a touch drawn out, but the film is enjoyable. 

The Secret Service:  Another Gerry and Sylvia Anderson supermarionation show, this one uses a distracting amount of live action material, including nearly all long distant shots and much of the driving about.  And generally, it’s just not all that interesting.  A vicar/secret agent handler and his shrinking agent solve various, not especially good problems.  Meanwhile, they continually play up the gag that when the vicar is talking to his agent, people think he’s praying.  That gets old within the first episode, but doesn’t stop throughout the first six episodes.  It’s not bad, but it’s probably the least exciting and watchable of the  Century 21 Television Production shows I’ve seen so far. 

Doctor Who: The Monster of Peladon:  The Doctor returns to Peladon a generation after his last visit to find that trouble is still brewing.  The story is pretty good, with a nice twist in the middle.  But, as with many Jon Pertwee stories, it’s a bit overlong.  It is nice to see the effects of time passing on a location the Doctor visited. 

Doctor Who:  Planet of Spiders:  This one takes a while to get going, including an excessive chase sequence that takes almost an entire episode and serves pretty much no purpose beyond extending run-time.  However, once they actually reach the titular planet, things get interesting.  While not amazing, it’s a solid send-off for Pertwee. 

McQ:  Oh, the 70s, where charisma-lacking old men could still draw the ladies.  Where rough cops made their own rules, roused the occasional beatnik, and blasted their way to justice.  Overlong and filled with the typical genre cliché, it reminds me of all the reasons I don’t like John Wayne movies, even when he’s not riding a horse.  Some good supporting performances help, but it’s not enough to make an interesting film.  Not even Clu Gulager.  Good music though. 

The Emperor’s New Groove:  There’s some good stuff in this film.  It’s occasionally quite clever.  But honestly, another Disney animated musical comedy?  I kept wanting the jokes to stop, but it seems like telling a serious story has long since gone out of fashion with the powers that be.  It’s worth watching, but has none of the timelessness of a good Disney film. 

Halo Legends:  Much like The Animatrix and Gotham Nights, this animated anthology is uneven and too weighed down by anime cliché .  The Halo universe is surprisingly well thought out and interesting for a first person shooter, and the idea of an anthology to explore it is great.  Unfortunately, like the afore mentioned anthologies, the powers that be equate ‘adult animation’ with Japanese animation.  Thus we’re subjected to giant eyes, pointy chins, long weird pauses in action, and vaguely depressed leading characters.  Still, there are some beautiful images, and a couple of the shorts were pretty good.  But then, right in the middle there’s a comedy story that is absolutely painful to sit through.  For fans of the game, this is probably worth a watch.  I don’t see that it would be of much interest to anyone else.  I wish it had more substance, and perhaps some non-anime directors working on it.  But it’s watchable. [Upon watching this for a second time, I’m struck once again by the limitations and rampant cliché in anime.  I swear, there are like 8 plots, 8 characters, 3 art style variations, and maybe 3 themes.  They just mix and match over and over to produce something ‘new.’]

Haven't we been through all this before...frequently.

Brokeback Mountain:  Between the near constant, almost tuneless guitar picking and Heath Ledger’s mumbling, the first 45 minutes of this film are a grueling trek.  Yeah, mountains are pretty.  Buy a postcard.  Eventually things pick up, becoming simply dull.  If the two leads weren’t gay, this would be just another forgettable Lifetime movie.  People lying to each other and themselves.  Crying.  A little yelling.  And a whole lot of me needing a cup of coffee to keep my eyes open.  Yeah, Ang Lee makes beautiful looking films.  But he’s also been known to make interesting ones.  This isn’t on that list.

Yep.  Dem sure are some purty mountains.

Green Lantern: First Flight:  Origin stories, origin stories.  Honestly, how many do we need.  Much of this film could have been done in a flashback, but it’s still fairly watchable.  DC certainly seems to have a good handle on the animated film.  I just wish they’d stop doing origin stories (well, and Batman/Superman films).  Good voice work, pretty good animation, and a quick pace.  If you don’t know anything about the Green Lantern or his particular patch of the DC universe, this is a good introduction. 

    On Wednesday, Brad and I played a bit of Halo.  I’ve been wanting to play it again for a while, plus, I’ve got access to a 360 now, so I may finally be able to play Halo 3.  While reading Reality is Broken, I was reminded of how much I enjoy the game, and recruited Brad to help me out.  Having not played it in a while, I’d sort of forgotten that the game is ten years old.  Seeing it, on an HD TV, you can really tell that graphically, it’s not up to snuff with modern games.  I mean, what do you expect?  But the scenery is still gorgeous and the gameplay still fun.  All the little Aliens references.  The beautiful ringworld setting.  Bouncing across the landscape in that dreadful Warthog.  It comes together quite well.  And the cooperative play is a lot of fun.  It was one of the first games I ever played with that good a cooperative mode.  We didn’t get very far, and haven’t really gotten into the story yet.  But it was a nice little intro.  I believe on our next go, we’ll be storming a Covenant ship.  That should be fun.  Seeing the game again, and having just seen the announcement of Halo 4 last week, I’m just glad to see a serious science fiction property being developed.  Yes, it’s basically one of Heinlein’s Starship Troopers teaming up with the Space Marines from Aliens to fight the Church on Larry Niven’s Ringworld only to discover Heinlein’s Puppetmasters.  But though derivative, it’s still solid and a great deal of fun to play.  And it does have a good story.

    Sure, I’d love to see a Halo movie.  I mean, it kind of lends itself to film.  But then, so did Wing Commander, and look how that turned out.  What it really makes me long for, however, is some old style, grand scale science fiction.  The big idea stuff that was more common in the 50s and 60s, before everything became so filled with fear and an obsession with human weakness.  I want to see Foundation, Ringworld, or something like that.  What the original Star Trek had aspirations of being, but not the budget or technological capability. 

     I'm almost finished with Reality is Broken, and it's been something.  Very readable, but very challenging.  I want to do more than just write a review when it's done, so stay tuned.  And I did finish the fourth Conan volume, The Hall of the Dead and Other Stories.

     I had a nice surprise this past week, when my old high school friend Serena Andrews released a new music video.  It's very catchy. 

     And I continue to enjoy Kate Nash, who does such a good job of capturing the pain and awkwardness of fumbled love.  This song was kind of a gut-punch, having gone through the same thing myself. 

-Matt